Wake Up

11391743_723729514405209_2380218734075404025_n

As anyone who knows me would understand, it was hard when I moved to Dallas, Texas from my hometown in Pennsylvania. And I remember it was one of EDEN’s songs that got me through that transition.

EDEN, formerly known as The Eden Project, is an Electronic-Indy artist from Ireland. I’ve been following him since he started music. A lot of people assume that people who like EDM are trance lovers and people who go to raves, but for me and my sister, we are the type of like to listen to EDM, or any music for that matter, in solitude. The feelings of the music are what we are connected to. And my younger sister is the one who introduced me to EDEN.

It was always a little harder growing up 8 years apart for me and my sister. It was hard to find common ground because we were always going through completely different stages of life. For that reason, I think both of us were closer to our brother, who was the middle child. But the last years that I was in PA, we became very close. It was a bittersweet relationship: two sisters who grew up in the same home but at different times. She saw me go through all of my older trials and hardships, I saw her go through things I’ve already experienced. And it was only the last few years that I was in PA that we were able to finally talk, find out that we are actually more similar than we thought, and connect.

We used to go on many adventures even though our town was small. And EDM was the background music to our lives. EDEN definitely brought us together a lot, through different struggles at the same time, but being able to sing his lyrics together always made us feel like maybe even though we were going through various things, we weren’t so different, so isolated, as we had thought. We had each other.

One of the most difficult things about moving to Texas was leaving her behind. It was something I needed to do because I was not growing as a person in PA. I needed to come out of my comfort zone, so I took the plunge and took a job here in Dallas. It was a smart decision for my career and my personal development.

But it tore my heart apart because I think it hindered my relationship with my sister, or at least distanced us to what we were before. We no longer talk everyday, or go on adventures. I don’t know what she’s doing right now, but I know we are living separate lives.

I remember one of the last nights I was there. We were strolling down the streets of Carlisle at night, as we sometimes did on the spur of the moment, and we were taking turns singing EDEN’s new song, “Wake Up.” We both interpreted it as EDEN needing to leave to make his career his priority and him leaving his hometown to follow his dream. And even though I am not by any means doing the same thing, it really hit me. I hope it hit her heart in the same way. It made me realize how painful it was to grow sometimes. It would be a long time until the next time we might be walking and singing together. It would be a while until we would meet and act like nothing had ever changed.

Who would I be when we met again? How much will she have changed until the next time I would see her? Would we still have that connection? Or would we be like strangers, not knowing anything about each other’s lives?

Even though I’ve written so many times about how I was stuck in PA and happy that I moved here, it was something that hit my heart very heavy. EDEN’s music holds that connection still between us, I know it. I know it because every time I listen to “Wake Up,” I still to this day, almost a year later, burst into tears, because all of it comes flooding back. The times we took random road trips when I was heartbroken. The times we had sleepovers when I was an adult and we talked late into the night. The places we went, the pictures we took (she is a very good photographer), the fun we had, even through all of our individual troubles. And it reminds me of the last night before I left.

I was staying at my parents’ house because we had cleaned out the apartment. She was lying on the floor next to me, we were talking about how weird it was that it wasn’t going to be this way anymore. It was unreal, and I’ll never forget that moment.

If you’re reading this, Abby, I really hope we can go to the EDEN concert together. Then we could sing “Wake Up” together again.

Share


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *