I’m not a Victim | OOTD Altar’d State


Dress – Altar’d State | Bag – Coach | Bracelet- Kate Spade | Necklace – Le Tote | Mules – Target

Emotions run the human mind. It is the practice of controlling those emotions with ration and logic that creates a society of people who can respectively coexist.

My generation has been fed the lies of victimization, and I want to address this topic because it is an unpopular one, but definitely a topic in dire need of salvaging.

All of my life, I have been taught that there is an “oppressor” and that a lot of things that happen are just “life” and not my fault. It’s an easy way to think. It makes it easier to explain when there are forces of life that just inflict suffering on you. Couldn’t pass that test? The teacher must be biased in some way. You couldn’t lose weight? It’s because the industry force feeds us standards that can’t be achieved but also gives us fewer healthy options. Unhappy with life? Must be a chemical imbalance.

Yes, some of these situations are true. They sometimes are completely true.

But believing this way automatically causes you to automatically shut down. By victimizing yourself, you don’t have any choices anymore. You are your own limitations.

By victimizing yourself, you can easily place the blame and anger and frustration that comes along with it on someone or something else. And of course, you cannot control other people or circumstances. But you can control yourself.

I think the way we put our emotions and egos on a pedestal is the main reason why we as a society tend to victimize ourselves. If we are a victim we need saving. And we can’t always save ourselves.

We apply it in relationships – that’s why I believe a lot of relationships are ruined. We try to beat the other person, try to overcome the oppression, we believe that they are someone to challenge rather than a partner to join forces with.

My generation in particular has seen this rise of being told we could do whatever we want by virtually doing nothing. We don’t take responsibility. There are a few of us that do believe in hard work, but from what I’ve seen, the vast majority are stuck in a world of reality but trained to think we can do whatever we want, so we feel stuck. We feel oppressed. Depressed. And most of all, we have become numb to life. Life just happens now.

What is the point of routines? What is the point of working in a field we never thought we’d be in? We start spiraling down into this rabbit hole of depression, wondering “why me,” pulling a victim card. And it’s not all our fault – we were taught that we are all special and that we should be able to do whatever we want, but then never told how to achieve that. We forget the important things in life, such as family values, religion, community, in sacrifice for this sense of self-purpose, but more in the sense of a egotistical dream of becoming someone important but without doing anything to achieve it.

I am guilty myself. Sometimes I find myself wondering, “Why can’t I just stay home, have enough money for a luxury life, and not having to work?” But never knowing what exactly would get me to that point.

I want to change that mindset. You can do anything, but only if you take responsibility for finding a realistic way to do that.

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