I’m not a Victim | OOTD Altar’d State


Dress – Altar’d State | Bag – Coach | Bracelet- Kate Spade | Necklace – Le Tote | Mules – Target

Emotions run the human mind. It is the practice of controlling those emotions with ration and logic that creates a society of people who can respectively coexist.

My generation has been fed the lies of victimization, and I want to address this topic because it is an unpopular one, but definitely a topic in dire need of salvaging.

All of my life, I have been taught that there is an “oppressor” and that a lot of things that happen are just “life” and not my fault. It’s an easy way to think. It makes it easier to explain when there are forces of life that just inflict suffering on you. Couldn’t pass that test? The teacher must be biased in some way. You couldn’t lose weight? It’s because the industry force feeds us standards that can’t be achieved but also gives us fewer healthy options. Unhappy with life? Must be a chemical imbalance.

Yes, some of these situations are true. They sometimes are completely true.

But believing this way automatically causes you to automatically shut down. By victimizing yourself, you don’t have any choices anymore. You are your own limitations.

By victimizing yourself, you can easily place the blame and anger and frustration that comes along with it on someone or something else. And of course, you cannot control other people or circumstances. But you can control yourself.

I think the way we put our emotions and egos on a pedestal is the main reason why we as a society tend to victimize ourselves. If we are a victim we need saving. And we can’t always save ourselves.

We apply it in relationships – that’s why I believe a lot of relationships are ruined. We try to beat the other person, try to overcome the oppression, we believe that they are someone to challenge rather than a partner to join forces with.

My generation in particular has seen this rise of being told we could do whatever we want by virtually doing nothing. We don’t take responsibility. There are a few of us that do believe in hard work, but from what I’ve seen, the vast majority are stuck in a world of reality but trained to think we can do whatever we want, so we feel stuck. We feel oppressed. Depressed. And most of all, we have become numb to life. Life just happens now.

What is the point of routines? What is the point of working in a field we never thought we’d be in? We start spiraling down into this rabbit hole of depression, wondering “why me,” pulling a victim card. And it’s not all our fault – we were taught that we are all special and that we should be able to do whatever we want, but then never told how to achieve that. We forget the important things in life, such as family values, religion, community, in sacrifice for this sense of self-purpose, but more in the sense of a egotistical dream of becoming someone important but without doing anything to achieve it.

I am guilty myself. Sometimes I find myself wondering, “Why can’t I just stay home, have enough money for a luxury life, and not having to work?” But never knowing what exactly would get me to that point.

I want to change that mindset. You can do anything, but only if you take responsibility for finding a realistic way to do that.

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OOTD: Timeless Florals

Dress & Sweater cardigan: Forever 21 | Bag – Coach | Boots – Cliffs by White Mt. | Jacket – Urban Republic

Doesn’t it seem weird to talk about florals in winter? Well, as I was freezing my butt off for this shoot, I do believe that you can still pull off florals in colder weather, as long as you have a sweater, boots, and a jacket to wear over it outside, of course!

This look is inspired by the innocence of a school girl, the confidence of a city walker, and the dreamer of a summer-lover, and the practicality of the everyday woman. The dress and cardigan combo is a classic that won’t go out of style for years to come, and the boots and knee socks add a touch of winter to it. The nude cross body bag is a piece you will probably see a lot of in the coming OOTD posts, mostly because it’s become my everyday bag now. It’s the bag I’ve been wanting for so long! Perfect size, great color, and absolutely versatile with every outfit.

This shoot was done in Pennsylvania, actually in Harrisburg, the capitol. And I was so brave out in the cold weather, but for some reason now that I’m back in Dallas, I’m a wimp again and I’m not taking the weather well, even when its 40 F outside most of the time, which is not nearly as cold as it was that day. Speaking of PA, my lovely little sister did this shoot with me.

Nicoco

 

Summer Dresses

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OOTD: Dress – Forever 21 | Bag – DKNY | Shoes – Report

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Shift dresses are a great way to hide your weight gain. But the one problem I’ve had with this one is feeling also like a drape. I started wearing a belt with it, but then it’s so short! I think really the only solution is to actually try harder to get back to my health body.

But the outfit is still cute, right? It’s floral, flowy, and perfect for this (still) hot weather. I have this reoccurring problem where I wear very summery clothes to work and then freeze to death in the A/C there. I swear its not normal. Everyone in the office is wearing jackets and blankets, yet the A/C blasting persists. Office life, I guess.

So I’ve been just praying for it to get colder, which I never thought I’d do, because then I won’t have to chose between freezing or melting. And actually this the first time in a long time where I am actually EXCITED for fall! I always hated fall and winter in PA because I had really bad seasonal depression. But here in autumn, the skies are blue and bright, but the temperatures are very reasonable. We don’t have the beautiful colors that PA has, but we do have a very temperate season that lasts quite a long time.

As for the winter, I think I’m actually excited because I hope it will be snowing in PA when I go back to visit. I miss it. But I know I wouldn’t want to live in a cold climate for a while because it gets old after about a week. The people down here who either moved here a long time ago or grew up here in Texas say they want to move up north to experience the snow, and I just laugh because I know they will get tired of it quick, just like how I’ve gotten tired of the summers here pretty quick.

x Nicoco

Moving On

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OOTD: Dress – Forever21 | Sunnies – Burlington Coat Factory | Bag – Thrifted | Shoes – White Mt.

I’ve spent more than ten years of my life here. I never talk about where I’m from because I’m embarrassed to say that I live in Central Pennsylvania. There, I said it. I live in Harrisburg, PA.

The weather is absolutely terrible here. It’s humid and hot in the summer, deathly cold in the winter, spring doesn’t really exist, and the sky is this grey-white most days, no matter what season it is. The sky has to be the most depressing part of living here, hands down.

But there are moments when the sky lights up from the sunset and I remember there were good moments with nice weather.

Most of the people here aren’t friendly to strangers. They’re the typical North Eastern stuck up types who keep to themselves. Rarely on the streets do people smile and say hello to each other. They drive like a combination of stuck up Maryland drivers and overly confident New Jersey drivers.

But there are so many people here that I really cherish, too.

All in all, this has been my home for so long, and I will miss it. No matter how many times I’ve complained about the weather or the people, this is my hometown just as much as Colorado Springs was. I lived my most crucial developmental times in my life in Colorado as a child, but I lived here in Central PA for my teenage and early adult years, and that is a huge part in development as well.

Of course, the most difficult part will be to be far away from my parents and younger sister. I’m just used to seeing them every week, sometimes more. It’s going to be lonely knowing I can’t just plop myself on their couch at any time that I feel like seeing them.

Unlike most kids, I was really close to my parents during my teen years. Most teens will hide and bottle up things, but I used to tell them everything about my life in school. I asked for advice, I learned from them, and I depended on them. I was very innocent and I loved that I was so close to my family. I trust them. It’s going to be hard to leave.

My sister and I are eight years apart. Most people might think that it is impossible to have a close sister bond with that large of an age gap. But within the last few years, we’ve really gotten closer than we ever were as kids. She’s a teenager now, and I think we can relate to each other better. She’s also my photographer, and to be honest, I don’t know what I’m going to do now. The photo shoots are for this blog because I want to show others my fashion, but the best parts of doing the shoots are the adventures we have on the way. We find new places, eat new foods, and have the most memorable experiences. I’m really going to miss that. I know things will change, but I hope the bond doesn’t.

I’ve made and lost many friends here too. Lost meaning faded friendship. But there are a few that are very important to me and I will be really sad to create such a distance. Liz Anthony and Andrea Tran I will mention specifically. And there are also so many more people who I cherish. Co-workers, past co-workers, college and high school friends. I’m really going to miss your company and I am expecting y’all to visit me when I move!

My family that lives in the area I will also greatly miss. The main reason my parents moved back in this area was to be close to family. I do really appreciate being able to see both sets of grandparents and Aunts and Uncles quite often. It’s something I cherish.

Technology will make sure that I do not lose contact or lose friendship with everyone. But being face to face will never beat anything. It’s something that I will terribly miss.

It really is true that attachment is the greatest pain. But I do not regret it one bit.

I’ve been planning to move West for years, but now that it’s actually happening, I am scared. I’m scared of the new place, I’m scared of leaving people, I’m scared of who I will become. I’m scared to move on.

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