I’m not a Victim | OOTD Altar’d State


Dress – Altar’d State | Bag – Coach | Bracelet- Kate Spade | Necklace – Le Tote | Mules – Target

Emotions run the human mind. It is the practice of controlling those emotions with ration and logic that creates a society of people who can respectively coexist.

My generation has been fed the lies of victimization, and I want to address this topic because it is an unpopular one, but definitely a topic in dire need of salvaging.

All of my life, I have been taught that there is an “oppressor” and that a lot of things that happen are just “life” and not my fault. It’s an easy way to think. It makes it easier to explain when there are forces of life that just inflict suffering on you. Couldn’t pass that test? The teacher must be biased in some way. You couldn’t lose weight? It’s because the industry force feeds us standards that can’t be achieved but also gives us fewer healthy options. Unhappy with life? Must be a chemical imbalance.

Yes, some of these situations are true. They sometimes are completely true.

But believing this way automatically causes you to automatically shut down. By victimizing yourself, you don’t have any choices anymore. You are your own limitations.

By victimizing yourself, you can easily place the blame and anger and frustration that comes along with it on someone or something else. And of course, you cannot control other people or circumstances. But you can control yourself.

I think the way we put our emotions and egos on a pedestal is the main reason why we as a society tend to victimize ourselves. If we are a victim we need saving. And we can’t always save ourselves.

We apply it in relationships – that’s why I believe a lot of relationships are ruined. We try to beat the other person, try to overcome the oppression, we believe that they are someone to challenge rather than a partner to join forces with.

My generation in particular has seen this rise of being told we could do whatever we want by virtually doing nothing. We don’t take responsibility. There are a few of us that do believe in hard work, but from what I’ve seen, the vast majority are stuck in a world of reality but trained to think we can do whatever we want, so we feel stuck. We feel oppressed. Depressed. And most of all, we have become numb to life. Life just happens now.

What is the point of routines? What is the point of working in a field we never thought we’d be in? We start spiraling down into this rabbit hole of depression, wondering “why me,” pulling a victim card. And it’s not all our fault – we were taught that we are all special and that we should be able to do whatever we want, but then never told how to achieve that. We forget the important things in life, such as family values, religion, community, in sacrifice for this sense of self-purpose, but more in the sense of a egotistical dream of becoming someone important but without doing anything to achieve it.

I am guilty myself. Sometimes I find myself wondering, “Why can’t I just stay home, have enough money for a luxury life, and not having to work?” But never knowing what exactly would get me to that point.

I want to change that mindset. You can do anything, but only if you take responsibility for finding a realistic way to do that.

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Green Spring | OOTD

Forever 21

Romper (similar here) – Forever 21 | Bag – Coach | Shoes – Naturalizer

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Green is one of the colors I have been told to avoid, as my skin tone has a reddish warm to nuteral undertone. But here I am, parading around in this green pastel romper! Haha!

Forever 21 will always been my go-to for affordable outfits, and this is no exception. Rompers are just so easy. Like dresses, they are an all inclusive outfit. The only downside is going to the bathroom is a chore in these, as you have to literally get completely naked just to use the toilet. But it’s worth it!

I was a little tipsy during this shoot, I have to admit. I guess that’s why I look so happy though?

 

Nicoco

Completing My Capsule Wardrobe | YOINS Wishlist

As minimalism has started to take over my way of thinking, I’ve had the liberation of tossing all of my wardrobe and starting over with a capsule wardrobe. Over the past month, I’ve been collecting pieces that I can wear all through the spring and summer and match with other pieces I have easily. The main idea of the capsule wardrobe is that it is only pieces you love, no fillers, no “just because I bought it” pieces. So I’ve been slowly curating my closet and picking clothing items I love and would wear over and over again this spring and summer season.

Lately I’ve been finding some high quality but affordable pieces at YOINS, an online shop. The name YOINS apparently comes from “Your inspiration.”  They sell a lot of Tumbler-looking clothes, but I was able to find pieces that would definitely fit into my floral/cute style of wardrobe. There were so many cute dresses, tops and jewelry pieces that I liked, but these are my top three!

YOINS Wish List

Blue Floral Playsuit

If you follow my Instagram (@nicoc.o) you’ll know that right now I’ve been really into rompers and play suits. This cute YOINS blue bell sleeved romper is perfect for Texas summer weather (which seems to last until November), so I know I will get a lot of use out of it!

Minimalistic White Tee

The t-shirt on the top right is also a great staple to have in a Texas capsule wardrobe because it is loose and will match with shorts, skirts, and jeans. I think it will also be easy to layer, which is suuuuper important here.

Brown/Gold Choker Necklace

Lastly, my YOINS wishlist has to include a minimalistic gold necklace, because it is so timeless and perfect for the choker trend without being too noticeable. For my personal style (cute, girly, simple), I like to keep my jewelry clean and delicate.

All of the above mentioned items are also ON SALE right now, so be sure to check them out at YOINS, along with all of the other cute items the site has! One thing I love about them already is their great sale prices! 

I was lucky enough to be given the opportunity to try out these items, so stay tuned for the unboxing and review!

Nicoco

Dressing Up for Yourself

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OOTD: Top – Target | Jeans – Forever 21 | Bag – Zara

 

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This is a blog of a girl who is learning to pick up the pieces in a world of shattered dreams. The skewed perspectives of what was once reality, but sadly only in the mind. Trying to figure out how to not feel empty with human interaction when the picture of it was so much more alive in her head. Interpreting what it means to express oneself in a decent manner. Finding happiness in the smallest of actions, meaning in the most fleeting of moments, and understanding behind other’s actions as well as oneself.

It’s hard to find meaning in a life you don’t enjoy. It takes a lot of discipline to change it and steer it towards something you do like. Finding those pockets of escapism helps along the way. One of the things that keeps me going is trying to be the best version of myself. Trying to keep up with health while still enjoying myself, wearing outfits that make me feel confident without breaking the bank, and continuously finding the best beauty products to help my skin and hair.

Work is one of those unavoidable situations where it’s hard to find motivation to dress nicely. But I’ve found that if you let yourself go at work and don’t at least dress up for yourself, your attitude will follow. You will feel less than what you are. You will perform less than your potential. Your confidence is more likely to sway and start a spiral of depression. It sounds silly, but dressing up for yourself is important. You have to make yourself understand that you are worth it, you are successful, and you deserve to show up looking the best that you are.

It doesn’t have to be the most expensive outfit, or the most done-up makeup. But what it does have to be is genuinely what makes you happy, within dress code of course. I see a lot of offices going to a casual office dress code, and so many women letting themselves wear just a printed t-shirt. If you work in an office, don’t lose yourself in the routine. Take time to take care of yourself. Take time to treat yourself. And most of all, don’t let it take away your confidence.

 

Nicoco

PS. For a limited time, Forever 21 is having their 50% off winter sale! It’s ending in 3 days, so shop early to get the best deals!
Shop Forever 21: Winter Sale Up to 50% Off

OOTD: The World Doesn’t Stop for You









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OOTD:

Dress – Cotton On | Boots – Forever 21 | Purse – DKNY

As autumn finally settles in, I found a perfect autumn outfit that really suits my style of florals year round. To me, autumn always signified the death of the year, a depressing time, and as it is, it seems that the feelings of change and starting over are happening once again.
You may get close to people. Series of events, pulling your destiny together. You spend time with them and you take for granted the time you have each day. And one day, either you have to leave or they have to leave. You have dreams to pursue, they have life pulling them in another direction. True friendship is lasting, but it is painful when life takes you or them away to other endeavors.

It’s hard not to start thinking back and regretting all the times you took for granted. It’s also hard not to think about the future with a solemn aura because reality is hitting hard and you’re realizing that people must change, growth is required for life to be at its fullest. You can start to feel left behind when your friends are leaving on to bigger and better things, and you also can feel lost when you’re leaving to pursue something else away from all of your friends and everything you’ve known.

The thing to remember, the thing that should ground you, is that this is a form of grieving and it is also a form of comparing yourself to others. You can’t let it make you feel any less. Because you’ll stay friends, you’ll stay in touch. You’ll be on to new experiences, new wonderful people to meet. It’s hard to keep this in mind when you’re opening yourself up to someone and getting to know them and then your friendship is put to the test of distance.

My journey is far from over, and I really just have to keep reminding myself that fact.

x Nicoco

OOTD: That In Between Stage

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OOTD: Turtleneck – Target | Shorts – Mossimo | Bag – DKNY | Shoes – Coach | Watch – Apple

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It’s the time of year where the summer breezes are fading away and the crisp air fills the ground in the mornings. Then later in the day, the sun takes over and fills the atmosphere with the ghosts of summer, the warmth and the brightness that once was full and strong, but now weaker and softer, yet still enough to make you regret wearing a turtle neck.

Maybe that’s just Texas. I know up in my small hometown, it’s full on Autumn season, and for the first time in my life, I am truly jealous. I want to be able to wear knee socks, scarves, hats, parkas, boots and sweatshirts without feeling like a fool by the afternoon. It’s really that time here where you’ll find people walking around on the same day in shorts, t-shirt and sandals and others with boots and sweaters, and they’ll both just shrug and move on, as we are all confused about what season it is. I remember a year ago I moved here and was thrilled to have a sort of “extension” to the summer, but the reality was this is Texas fall, and the summer had already passed, just as it had when I left the North East.

I opted for a turtleneck with shorts. Weird maybe, but cute, yes! And I don’t mind being weird, because I already know that I am weird. Turtlenecks and high-waisted shorts have made somewhat of a comeback in the last few years. Things I wore as a young child in the 90’s are coming back. And I’m enjoying it (as long as the flat straight hair and the thin brows trends stay in the past!). High-waisted shorts also balance out my triangle shaped body, as my torso is longer than my stubby legs. I have really been dying to wear knee socks, so I threw them on with the outfit, and I’m glad I did, because it was quite cold this morning.

In other news, get ready to see tons of posts with braids, because I am back in full swing growing my hair. I’ll probably do a post about it once I get it back to where it was before. I’m currently doing Unicity Complete shakes, fish oil supplements, inversion method with castor oil and rosemary essential oil, and will be moving back into braids everyday to keep it damage-free. It’s kind of annoying to do this in between stage where I’m actively growing out my hair, especially since I’m also actively trying to lose weight, so it’s required a lot of patience. At least maybe I’ll finally be able to do a French braid someday!

Hope your autumn isn’t too awkward and you’ll be able to wear scarves soon!

Nicoco

Following Forever 21 into My Adulthood

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OOTD: Dress – Forever 21 | Cardigan – Forever 21 | Bag- London Fog | Shoes – Lifestride

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I was a small town girl, whether I like to believe it or not. I grew up half in Colorado Springs, CO, and half in Camp Hill, PA, just outside Harrisburg. I was always interested in cute but elegant fashion, but it seemed that we just didn’t have that style there in PA. I was a tween – just between the age of a kid and a teenager – and I found out the local mall was building a Forever 21 store.

Forever 21 was started in Los Angeles by two Korean Americans, Chang and Chang in 1984. It was originally started as a target to Korean Americans, and I think that is why I was very drawn to it. The styles are cute, but not childish. They have a huge selection of Asian-styled cute clothing, and many floral prints.

Forever 21 was since then my favorite store. It is affordable, cute, and best of all, has the widest variety of clothes of any other stores. I am now 25 years old, and still shopping there. This cute dress I have on today is an example of how they can make clothes very wearable, but still cute. It’s not a hassle to wear, like some clothes. The versatility is endless.

Over the past year of this blog, I have featured so many things from Forever 21, and it is because truly, they fit my way of life. It’s for the lazy girl who wants to still look put together. Perfect for an INFP!

This Columbus day, they are having some great deals through 10/10/16, and a BOGO sale ending on 10/9/16, which I will be sure not to miss! If you love Forever 21, be sure to check out their holiday sales, starting on 10/5/16!
Shop Forever 21: Columbus Day Deals (10/5-10/10)

Shop Forever 21: Buy One Get One Free (10/6-10/9) Use Code: BOGOFREE
Nicoco

 

OOTD: It’s Still Summer

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OOTD: Top – Korean Thrift | Shorts – Mossimo | Bag – Zara

MOTD: Foundation – Urban Decay Naked Skin | Setting powder – Tony Moly | Blush – Benefit Dandelion | Lashes – MAC mascara | Brows – Daiso pencil in Natural Brown and Hourglass’ pencil in auburn | Lips – MAC Huggable lip color in Origami Orange

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Well, I have been wearing loose clothing due to the hot weather still, and this thrifted shirt from Plato’s Closet is perfect for this damn hot weather. Who said it was fall, huh? The one thing I liked about PA seasons was autumn and we don’t really have an autumn here.

This is kind of just an update post, really. I dyed my hair darker because I couldn’t stand the blonde-copper tones, but of course I couldn’t get rid of it completely, as you can see. I have also recently gotten a stomach ulcer, so I am on a strict diet and Chinese herbal meds, and it started last weekend and I actually am feeling a lot better after a few days of the treatment. I’m really going to use this to jumpstart my health journey (again).

I made a goal that I would be fairly in shape by the time I went back to PA to visit. I have now about four months to lose the weight I put on and to grow out my hair. I think using this strict diet and slowly adding things back in will help me a lot. This stomach ulcer has had a silver lining. I got off caffeine, refined sugar and alcohol, which was an absolutely terrible experience. I had a migraine for three days straight, chills and back pain. I did cheat a little when I went to a Yelp Elite event, I had a fourth of a glass of wine and a bite size brownie. Sigh, I’m so bad. Tsk tsk.

But seriously, I didn’t realize how bad my habits had gotten until I had this ulcer. I was drinking every night at least two glasses of wine, and kind of also got into drinking beer (after going to a Yelp event in Fort Worth…), I was drinking black coffee twice a day, and eating basically whatever I wanted, in between meals and such.

After getting into Traditional Chinese Medicine more and more, I see how important it is to take care of your body. Now, I do not agree with my TCM doctor who told me that anything that tastes good shouldn’t be eaten because its probably bad, but I do agree with him on the fact that eating healthy has a LOT to do with health. And eating at the right times in the day is also a key to eating healthy. I’m thinking of doing a whole post on that subject.

Anyway, hope you like the outfit even though I’m sure y’all are rushing to get out your jeans and sweatshirts and scarves and whatnot. But unfortunately, its still “Texas” summer for now. Let’s just say I cannot WAIT until October!

Nicoco

OOTD: Hiatus Outfit

OOTD: Dress – Rue 21 | Bag – Calvin Klein | Bra Straps showing – VS

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I guess I ended up taking a break and I really didn’t mean to. I’ve been busy sulking about my health. I could’t understand why I just can’t lose weight even when I eat right. I recently was diagnosed with hypothyroidism, which explains the weight problems. It also explains the chronic fatigue, inability to sleep at night, and digestion issues.

So I’m on a treatment plan now, and I’ve been too depressed about the way I fit in clothes lately. Another excuse is that its been ridiculously hot here. I know, I should expect that.

I do plan on getting back on track once my treatment ends. I will continue my healthy lifestyle plan and cut out more sugar. I think the biggest habits I need to stop is snacking in between meals.

I know some people swear by the eating small portions all day thing, but seriously, it’s bad for you. Going by the Chinese body clock, there are certain points during the day that you should try to avoid eating. Those times are 9 am to 11 am, 1 pm to 3 pm, and 7 pm to 7 am. During those times, certain organs are working the hardest in your body to process what you have put in your body during the other hours. It’s important to avoid eating so those organs can work without interruptions.

Anyway, this has become a rant, and I’m actually tired at the time Im supposed to be tired, so everyone have a good night, day or afternoon.

Nicoco

Finding Our Purpose

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OOTD: Top – Marimekko | Shorts – American Eagle | Bag – Calvin Klein | Sandals – Lifestride

MOTD: Foundation – Estee Lauder Double Wear | Eyebrows – Giorgio Armani Brow Maestro | Bronzer – Benefit Hoola Bronzer | Lips – YSL Rouge Volupte #9 | Setting powder – Tony Moly oil control compact powder

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Ok, I know it’s not “technically” summer yet, but it sure feels like it! It’s hot, humid and sunny out here in Dallas. And every afternoon we seem to get a thunderstorm. It’s cool because I didn’t have that in PA, but I remember from previously living in Colorado Springs. 

So, today I wore a top by Marimekko which is “technically” not a shirt but actually a swimsuit cover up, but who cares? I think I’m going to start buying those swimsuit cover ups and use them as clothing, because a lot of them are super cute anyway!
Today I wanted to write about a topic I may have already addressed, but it has recently been on my mind again. Basically, what am I doing with my life? And what does anyone in my generation know about what they are doing in their lives?

I think it’s normal to question that from time to time, and even more prevalent in my generation because we are so used to change happening everyday. The rules literally change all the time. We get confused because we spend four years getting a degree and trying to get a high paying job so we can live decently, while we watch someone younger than us literally become rich on the internet by eating massive amounts of food on camera. Or those models on Instagram that don’t seem to do anything other than travel, endorse teatoxes and eat good food. It becomes intriguing to us to watch people (who look around our age) check in to a restaurant at every meal time on Yelp. It’s like….what are you doing that I’m not thinking of doing???

The more I am forced to adult in my life, the more ridiculous it seems to me that we are pretty much led to believe that we have to have it all figured out by the time we graduate high school at age 18. It’s absolutely insane to me. This is not the generation where we find one job, get taken care of by that job, and never leave until retirement. Technology is changing constantly. My generation is switching companies constantly and even switching industries constantly as certain industries become obsolete.

I don’t know whose messed up idea it was to tell my generation as children that we could “be whoever we wanted to be as long as we believed.” That was the worst advice I’ve ever heard in my life. Some people will be all butthurt by this reality, but seriously, if I did what I loved to do, I wouldn’t be making any money! The other thing I think it incredibly misleading is that saying that is often told to high school students: “If you do what you love, you will never work a day in your life.”

Yeah, sure. Never work a day in your life, huh? That really depends. What if you love cooking? You’ll be working 14 hours a day for low pay and never see your family. Maybe you will love it, but that is the REALITY of being a chef. What if you love traveling? You can get a job in travel, but then it’s impossible to hold a normal relationship with another human being. Or what about me? I loved to draw when I was in high school. If I were an artist, I would be literally starving and on the streets. Pessimist? I think not. It’s called a realist. It’s called compromising to find a best of being realistic and combining that with finding something you can tolerate.

My personality type in particular will fall for these things. INFP’s are a sucker for following your dreams. That’s where you really have to be cautious. Because that is when the 18 year old picks a career path that will lead to massive amounts of debt with no return and then suddenly that hopeful 18 year old becomes a tired, pissed off 24 year old with student debt, working in an industry that has nothing to do with their major.

That’s only the half of it, though. When you are 18 years old, you think you know everything, you truly believe you know what you what to do. You think you understand it all.

But then when you start doing things yourself and living on your own and discovering new ways of life, you realize you don’t anything. You don’t know what you want in life, you don’t even know when the last time you washed your hair was. You realize that a lot of the things you cared about in high school or maybe even in college, they do not matter anymore. Life is so sudden, it can change so quickly. You realize that you don’t even begin to understand how life works, and that is how interests can change.

It’s a terrible thing to realize that you were pushed in a certain direction, whether it be by your parents or your school or even by your own will, when you were 18 years old, and you live life a little longer and realize that while it was good for experience, you truly want something else in life. Sometimes you realize that family is the most important thing in your life, but you’ve chosen a career path that makes it almost impossible to have a family life. Sometimes you find yourself dedicated to a career path for four or more years only to find that you don’t want to pursue it any longer by the time you are 30 years old.

It can really make you feel like a failure. You wake up one day, age 28, drive to your office job in accounting, sitting in 30 minutes of traffic. You think about how you went to school for English, but you didn’t go into a job for it because the only job you could find require teaching, and you wanted to do something more related to writing novels, but that was too risky. You sit down in your cubicle and realize that you feel like you’re wasting your life.

Or worse yet, you dedicate your life to a profession, come to hate it, get laid off, and then feel like a failure because you don’t know what you are doing.

My point here….. Yes, I do have a point…. is that while we are forced to decide at age 18 what we want to do for the rest of our lives, do not be afraid to change industries once you have invested resources into something. It is NEVER too late for change. Resisting change is what will make you fail. Change is what makes us grow.

If you want to go into a new industry because it will better your future, do it. You just have to be realistic to your circumstances. If you are in a job that you like but you never see your family and that is important to you, change. If you are in a high paying job but you hate it and you value meaning in your job, change if you can.

Just because you are doing something does not mean you have to keep doing it.

And just because you are 18 years old it does not mean you have to know anything about what you want to do.

Don’t make the mistake of following a path just because you want to at the time or because others are pushing you to do so. Think carefully about what you value and research whether it will match your needs.

Lastly, don’t be afraid to master a new skill, take on new challenges, or find something that really will better your future.

Nicoco